A Grateful Heart

            "Gratitude is the feeling of being thankful or appreciative." That is what I found when I looked up the exact definition of gratitude. The website also went on to say, "An example of gratitude is how someone would feel if their friend did something exceptionally nice for them." I have a problem with this as the example of what gratitude is. Are we really only supposed to be grateful for the things that are "exceptionally nice?" I don't believe so. This past year has been continually challenging for me and has lately become even more so. I keep wondering when I will get a break and have things start turning around for me, and while it's good to have a positive spirit, I got so caught up in wanting more for myself that I missed what I already had. I've been taking every challenge as an obstacle that I have to simply survive through to get to the good stuff waiting for me, instead of analyzing what the reason for the obstacle was in the first place. I had it all wrong.
            -Here's an example that isn't too deep... I didn't have a smart phone until my senior year. I got my first phone in sixth grade, my parents were divorced and it just made things easier.  I was SO excited to get it, I was so thankful and kept squealing at my mom "You did NOT! You did NOT get me a phone!" But I quickly took it for granted. When it came time to get a new phone, I always wanted the best one on the market, but I usually ended up with the cheapest one. I went through 3 1/2 years of high school as one of the few people who still didn't have internet access. I begged and begged my mom to get me a better phone, one that had apps and games and internet when I had absolutely no reason for them. Of course I didn't realize this at the time, but I do now. And after a few months of having my smart phone, I started complaining that it froze, the internet wasn't as fast as the iPhone, etc. Soon after that, my screen cracked and it has even more glitches than before. I see now that maybe if I had appreciated the basic phone, my mom might have been more quick to get me that smart phone. If I had thanked her for simply replacing every teenage girl abused phone, which she didn't have to do, or if I had not been so careless with them in the first place, I might have had the nicer phone in my hands sooner. And now that my phone is in horrible condition, I'd gladly take back a frozen inbox every now and then. 
            And so brings me to the bigger picture. Looking back on the past year, and taking in how some small problems have turned into massive ones, accepting the lessons I have and am still learning from, I am so grateful for the mess I'm in. I am growing and learning and becoming a better, stronger, more benevolent person. Here's a recap:

             -Last fall, my brother was diagnosed with Cancer. (That is a whole different story in itself and is such a perfect example of how God works His perfect plan for our lives.) And as heartbreaking and traumatic as it was to accept that news, I am thankful that my brother and family and friends had to go through that. I'd never want to again, but I'm thankful for it. I was so angry at God for letting this happen. But through that experience, I learned that as always, God was working on something far more powerful than cancer. My family has had its share of difficulties but I am so blessed to say we haven't had to deal with many things like this. We've had crazy car wrecks, health scares, and other unfortunate circumstances but never anything that wasn't just another "close call" that we knew would be okay right off the bat. I took that for granted. This was the first time I was actually terrified I would lose a part of my family. I see now that although for the most part, the Wendells are pretty invincible, we are still human. And we still need to remember that we aren't promised another day. I now cherish my family even more and make a bigger effort to be sure I'm getting the most out of every text, phone call, and visit. I'm so happy to say that he is now healed and healthy and loving on his precious son that just turned four years old. Thank you Jesus. I am grateful.
            
             -I've struggled so much with how hard Auburn really is. I'm worried I may not get to experience all four years here, and keep wondering why God would send me here and allow me to be accepted if He knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. And then I realized I could be in one of two situations. Maybe I can handle it and it will all be fine. I'll get into the swing of things eventually and enjoy four years of War Eagle moments. Or, maybe God has something else for me, but knows how much I wanted the college experience of going to my dream school, being in a sorority, and being a part of the Auburn family before throwing me into a whole different scenery and life plan. Either  way, I know that God is sovereign. And I'm going to end up where I belong. If I'm not supposed to be here in the future, I won't be. I have other dreams and aspirations and I know that God wouldn't root those feelings so deeply within me if they meant nothing. But either way, I'm not going to waste time worrying and moping around about whether or not I'll be here in the future, when God has me here right now. I am grateful.


            -I am a really forgiving person, with  a servant's heart. That doesn't mean I use it as much as I probably should, but it's there and comes into play every single day. Because of these two character qualities, I quickly become the "go to" person for most people. And as much as I love doing things for other people, and I know I shouldn't ask for anything in return, it still hurts that it's rarely reciprocated. Recently, many people that I love and care about have hurt me in ways that I felt were irreversible. I now see that this attitude is unacceptable. "We love because He first loved us." Who am I to think it's appropriate for me to hold a grudge, when the Man who knows that person's heart and sees them for what they are still forgives them? I am nothing. It's not about me. So I am grateful for the people who hurt me, whether that is my family, my friends, my boyfriend, or a stranger. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to forgive them because it reminds me that my hands are just as dirty as theirs are, but God still looks at me and says "that one is mine." And while I know it would be foolish to believe that everyone can appreciate that and not continue to take advantage of me, I also know that in the end, by forgiving someone else I'm really freeing myself more than them. Because chances are, the other person is either completely oblivious to what they've done, or they've already forgiven themselves and have moved on. And that's enough for me. I am grateful.

It is easy to be grateful for things that make you happy. But it's good for the heart to be grateful for the things that are difficult. For the missed opportunities, because they often lead to more meaningful ones. For friends who take advantage of you, because it shows you the ones who appreciate you. For hard times in relationships, because they either allow you to be set free of someone that is toxic to your life, or to be shown how much they really mean to you. For the  mistakes you make, because they allow you to look at your heart on a deeper level. And despite the struggle, embarrassment, hurt, or whatever it may be that come with these things, you're allowed to be proud of the comebacks you make from them. Isn't that what it's all about? You learn and grow and become a better person... but you have to be grateful first.

Kony 2012

How precious are they. Just saying. Anyway, I don't even know where to begin with this. So it's gonna be scatterbrained. Long hair don't care. This post is not me trying to talk you into supporting Kony 2012 or getting you to join the Invisible Children club. So give it a chance. I wrote this because yes I'd love to share how I feel with the public but mostly, I just need to get things off my chest. So please, save yourself the time writing me a long drawn out argument because I'm not going to read or fight back.  And the last thing I would want to do is beg someone to fight for something they don't care about or disagree with.

First of all, I am THRILLED to see that the war in the Sudan is getting the attention it has deserved for the last 30 years. It is disgusting what is being done and just as disgusting that it has gone without attention. There have been news articles here and there since the 80's but no one really ever glanced twice. In my high school, the Invisible Children club was something I really enjoyed being involved in and was successful for the most part. Kony 2012 is NOT the first video made by IC. There are many others, and many clips from Kony 2012 are actually excerpts from them. This is not a new thing, obviously, since it has been going on for nearly 30 years, but the Invisible Children "movement" I guess you could say has been trying to get noticed for years. Many of the same people I went to high school are now becoming deeply concerned with what's going on with Joseph Kony after watching Kony 2012, and the sad thing is that for four years we were basically begging them to listen. But you know what? It doesn't matter. Because it's finally exposed. And before some of you get on your high horse claiming to be one of the "original" people helping this movement, just stop. If that's what is important to you, I would hardly classify that as the attitude of a humanitarian. So don't call all these people "bandwagoners." If people are hopping on a bandwagon that is focusing on the welfare of children, I don't understand how anyone in their right mind could take offense to that. Now let me get back on track... When Obama sent troops over to Uganda in October, the news article was barely two paragraphs long and the overall coverage on the story was minimal. Who are we to blame for this delay and lack of information? Who's fault is it that people are just now becoming aware? I'm not sure if it's our fault as a country for becoming numb to what is going on in third world countries, or the media for understanding our lack of concern, thus labeling it as something that doesn't "concern" or "interest" the majority of America as viewers and readers, and not wasting their time covering these current events. I think the major reason for this is because from what I observe in everyday conversation, social media, etc. is that many people see third world countries and most of the continent of Africa as a lost cause altogether. The late night Feed the Children commercials have become something we are used to. It isn't shocking or upsetting to most people. The general attitude toward these issues is that there will always be hunger, they're all dying of AIDS anyway, even if I do pay 25 cents a day, they are all basically sentenced to death so it doesn't matter. Who cares if they can't afford an education. It's not like they need that to farm. And now, who cares if they are child soldiers? It's not like they were doing anything with their lives in the first place. WRONG. They are human beings. And no human being should be subject to these kinds of atrocities.

This is not just about Joseph Kony. This is not about donating three dollars to TRI and buying your Kony 2012 Kit. This is not about publicity for Invisible Children. That may be what it is to some, but that's not what it should be. This should be about standing up for our fellow man and claiming them as a human being. A child of God. A person with the potential for greatness. Worthy of a life without fear.  Liberation. Putting an end to rape and sex slavery. Ensuring that children can go to sleep at night without the fear of being snatched from their homes. Ending wars. Taking back stolen childhoods. And I'm not just talking about in the Sudan. And I'm not talking about in Somalia. I'm talking about everywhere, all the time, in the past, right now, in the future. 2012 is not going to be the end of the world, but I do believe it could be the beginning of the end of a war. An emotional one. The war against ourselves. Against indifference, and turning our cheek to our neighbor when they're in need. The war against ignorance and being uneducated about what's going on in our world today. The war against basically everything that essentially leads to a militaristic war.

There is so much hype going on with Invisible Children. Criticism on how their money is spent, if everything they're saying is really true, who they actually support, etc. I've read the "visible children" article. I've read the articles that defend IC from what is said in the visible children article. And I encourage you to as well. Educate yourself as much as possible when it comes to this and take your OWN stance on what you believe because if all you have done is simply watch the Kony 2012 video, I am sorry, but you are still so naive to what is going on. There are hours of film you can watch on this, both provided by Invisible Children and not.  I am so excited about the Invisible Children club getting started at Auburn and if you support IC I would be overjoyed for another member. But I honestly could care less whether or not you agree with Invisible Children as a group or not. Because, like I said, this isn't about them. By supporting what is going on with Kony 2012 and encouraging you to as well, I am in no way asking you to claim yourself as an "Invisible Children supporter." It's not about a label. This is about bringing justice that is long overdue. You don't have to spend any money to do your part to stop this. Pick up the phone and call someone. A senator, or a family member that isn't aware of what's going on. Write letters to people in our government expressing how you feel. This war was going on long before Invisible Children was created, they don't have to be associated with each other if you don't want them to be. They don't have to go hand in hand. You can be an advocate for one without the other. Don't let your disagreement with a certain campaign stop you from taking action or caring about this situation if it has moved you. Stop telling people not to support the spread of the video just because you disagree with Invisible Children. The video is informational. Just because it says how you can get involved with IC doesn't mean you have to.

For those of who you do support IC, that's awesome for you. You're not alone. For those of you who don't, props for knowing your beliefs. You're not alone either. But either way, I encourage you to pray for this situation. For our government, for these children, for the LRA, and for Joseph Kony.

And if you really don't care about what's going on in the Sudan, then that's what floats your boat. But I hope that you are at least inspired to stand up for SOMETHING you believe in. In just a few days, millions of people have joined the fight to stop Joseph Kony. It shows that when exposed to the terrors that are so very real in our world, people want to do something about it. If your thing is Pro-Life, putting and end to world hunger, whatever, start a campaign. Be heard. Because you aren't the only person out there who wants to make a difference, and you're not the only one who cares. Many just don't know how or aren't aware of all of the things that are wrong with our society. So quit complaining that no one does anything for YOUR cause, or the troubled youth of America, and get off of your couch and YOU do something about it. You have the power to you know.

Everyone knew about the 72 day wedding. Few knew about the 30 year war... until now. It's your voice. I don't care what you do with it, but do SOMETHING with it.

Get some sense.

I'm going to start this out by saying I'm sorry. Not for everything that I'm about to say, but for being a part of a generation of young women that completely lack self-respect, and find this behavior to be acceptable. It's disgusting, embarrassing, and should not be tolerated. This should all be common sense. Here we go.

• Facebook and Twitter

-The bar/club/party pictures: It is not cute when you hold your solo cup level with your face. It takes less time to just put the cup or bottle down and take a picture you wouldn't hesitate to frame for grandma than it does to gather and pose with every available cup/bottle/cigarette available within a 500 ft radius. We understand, you're in high school or college and probably drinking. But it's really unnecessary to reiterate that you're consuming large amounts of alcohol and smoking by documenting it on social media. 

-Bathroom Mirror Pictures: Whatever, y'all are going to take them and most aren't that bad. But what's embarrassing is when you hike your leg up on the bathroom counter and lean over so that your cleavage would make Pamela Anderson herself envious. Gross.
-Bathing Suit Pictures: Everybody has some, I've got some. They're fun at the pool, layin out, and definitely at the beach. But don't sit there posing in the bathroom mirror uploading one every single day and then whine about not being able to find a nice guy that respects you. I AM LAUGHING AT YOU. And judging from the facebook post I made about this last week, so are about forty other people.
-The infamous boobs out, butt out, hand on hip so I look skinnier pose: You have 109 likes on your photo NOT because you are pretty but because you're posing like a contortionist and sticking out every available asset as far as possible. That cannot be comfortable, for you or for the teachers you added on facebook from last year.
-Picture captions: Oh my gosh I am so embarrassed just reading some of them... *nAtural Beauty..* HEhehe I'm a N3RD. Look at my glasses! SPR!NG BREAK B0D. ~~~~imperfect~~~~ .....quit that.
-"Oh mah y'alll GAahhhh I am sewwwwwwwwww drink!!!!!!!!! Sh00tttttss for everywhere LOSTMY SHOEs": Stop it. Now. No need to elaborate on this. And if you text this to people, be decent enough to apologize for texting them hieroglyphics the next morning.

• Boys.

I wish there were enough words to say how disappointed I am to hear some of these stories about girls. This just saddens me more than it aggravates me. If your parents didn't raise you not to sleep around, and if you read the following, you no longer have an excuse for your actions. Not that you really had one in the first place, but you've now been made aware of what you're doing, and if you continue to behave in the same manner the only person you have to blame is yourself.

-Just because a guy sleeps with you does NOT mean he likes you or even thinks you're remotely attractive. He texts you with smiley faces and calls you beautiful because he knows you're going to believe it. Yeah, it's sad that guys are like this, but you don't have to be a genius to figure out it's an act. I know that guys can be so manipulative but there's a reason that one of the first words you learned growing up was "no." So if you fall for it, stop lying to yourself, messaging him on facebook, texting him, etc. You only think that he's interested. You're under the impression that he's attracted to you and flirting with him will bring him back for more. But the only thing he's coming back for is to sleep with you. So stop. Cut off communication, put on some clothes, and move on with your life. Make a guy prove to you that you're different and worth more than that. And don't come at me saying that's hard to do. All you have to do to prove it is literally nothing. Don't sleep with him. If he still comes back, he genuinely likes you. COMMON SENSE Y'ALL.

-Sleeping around with an entire fraternity or friend group does not mean you're popular. It does not mean you're living the college girl dream. It does not mean they sit around the house talking about how you're sooo hot. It does not mean you're the frat sweetheart. But it does mean you're the slampiece. And they do sit around the house and talk about you. But you'd be embarrassed to hear what they're saying.

-Incessantly trying to get the attention of someone in a relationship: What the heck is your problem? You're embarrassing yourself to no end. And honestly you're disrespecting yourself more than the two people in that relationship, because you're allowing yourself to be a target. And if you're helping a guy cheat on a girl, I'm embarrassed for you. That doesn't make you "powerful" or better than his girlfriend. I mean he obviously doesn't care that much about his girlfriend, but he cares about you even less because he is still with her. You are second. And even if you are acting like a slut, you deserve better than to be second.

You do not need to cover your Facebook and Twitter with uncouth and trashy things to get attention. Unless you want attention from uncouth and trashy people. You do not need to sleep with every guy to feel like you're worth something, because the man that sees you for all of your worth is the one who created you. 

There is so much more I want to say but I'll leave it at that. Stop making a fool of yourself and leading the rest of society to believe that all girls ages 13-20 are like this. Because we aren't, and you're making all of us look bad.


****After being contacted and asked why I am so judgemental, I'd like to add this: I'm not judging, I clearly stated that I think girls like this deserve more than the negative feedback you get from guys. If I was judging I would have no sympathy. That's the purpose of this post. To make y'all aware that you are doing it to yourself.  If you want to go make a fool of yourself and scream YOLO as loud as possible, be my guest. But don't sit there and cry about not being respected or liked or about how you have an STD. That is all.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Lies My Society Told Me

I think one problem with how we live our lives today is that so many people stop thinking for themselves and rely strictly on what society does about their problems. When in reality, every personal situation is different. There are several people I know who live their lives strictly based off of what cosmopolitan tells them to do, and on any given day, you can see the exact same "life quote" posted on facebook by at least three girls ages 12-22. We were given the ability to make decisions and analyze and think for ourselves... so why not do it? Here are two of these quotes/ideas that are generally accepted by society, and why I have a problem with them. Just because lately I see them more and more, and it's getting a little monotonous.

• "If he doesn't chase you when you walk away, keep walking." 

Okay, problem number one with this is that I know for a fact that many girls fake leaving a relationship just to see if the person they are with will chase after them. If you have ever done this, you're too selfish to deserve someone who will fight to get you back in the first place. It's not fair to the other person and you're playing with their emotions. So go ahead and break up. You've got some maturing to do. Second,  I don't think that this is true in every situation. Yes, if someone really loves you, more than likely they will chase after you and fight for you. But maybe that guy should let you walk away, because maybe he wants to give you a chance to see what you really what you want in life. I think that some people do need time to themselves in order to truly be happy. This goes along with the quote "If you love something, let it go... If it comes back its yours, if it doesn't, it never was." Two very popular quotes that cancel each other out. Is this making sense? If not, go watch the Notebook. The third problem that I have with this is that sometimes, when someone really loves you, they'll be honest enough to tell you when you are being ridiculous. If you ever faked running away when you were little, that's what I'm talking about. Your parents probably said "Alright, go ahead, we'll see how far you get." I don't think there's anything wrong with your boyfriend telling you that you're being dramatic for running away from your relationship when it gets a little hard. Because chances are, you are being dramatic. And maybe if you're bold enough to walk away, or at least pretend that you're walking away from the relationship, it isn't what you really want. Maybe you're the one who isn't fighting for it. Just something to think about.

• The idea that if you try hard enough, you'll change someone.

Just no. I think that the most common time this idea is used is with girls who chase after the "bad boy" type. Girls are basically obsessed with thinking that they can make a guy change for them. And I think it's rarely because they genuinely want to be with that person. I think a lot of it comes from pride, and wanting to know that they are good enough to have a guy commit to them. I'm sorry, and I hate to break it to ya, but most guys will only change for themselves.  If you've been dating a guy for months and he's still cheating, lying, whatever it is that he does that you're trying to change, give up. He's not changing any time soon, because he doesn't care enough about you to do so. It's really not worth all of your wasted time and energy and you're only getting hurt by it. If a guy really cares enough about a girl, he will realize that his actions aren't fair to her, and he'll change. But it has nothing to do with what you actually do to try to forgive and change him. He'll do it by himself. And besides, you deserve a guy who will give you everything you deserve in the first place. I have no idea how to stress this enough. Most guys are happy with their anti-commitment lifestyle, but they also use it as a vice to keep girls wanting them without having to commit. If a guy says he cares about you but just doesn't want a relationship, stop hanging on because he really, really doesn't want a relationship, even though you desperately try to prove that you'd be a good girlfriend. Also, take a hint and realize that this isn't just about him liking his single lifestyle, it's about the fact that he just doesn't care about you. Because I guarantee you're going to be hurt when a month later, a girl he does care about comes around and he's ready to commit. So if your relationship consists of nothing but you constantly forgiving him for his "old habits," then leave. If a guy says he cares but isn't ready to commit, quit fooling yourself. I think that's a pretty basic thing to grasp but girls are still obsessing over guys that treat them horribly, hanging on for a change that will never happen. If a guy really wants you, he'll do what it takes to make you happy and treat you right. I know this because I've seen it happen. But this change comes from them. Not you.

Stop making a fool of yourself and snap back to reality. Think logically. Be smart. It will save you a lot of grief. End rant.

Just wanted to say...

Thanks! I have only posted three entries and the number of views this page has gotten is a lot more than I ever expected it would in such a short time. I have gotten numerous facebook messages, tweets, texts and phone calls with so much support from you guys- I love knowing that the things I say mean something. So thank y'all so much for loving me and spending time reading my scatterbrained thoughts. Y'all are neat.

What is Love? Baby don't hurt meeee

I mainly titled this post with that line because that song is stuck in my head, but still. It's relevant. Let me just be as cliche as possible and post a blog about love on Valentine's Day.

I'm going to preface this by saying that every relationship is different. And I am not one to judge that. And let me also say that it is so important to appreciate the little things and the big things, and when you're happy about something, it's wonderful to share that. But I am so OVER the constant picture uploads, statuses, etc. about "My boyfriend is literally the best! No like seriously, look at this coke he bought me when we stopped to get gas. How sweet!? So in L0V3." Seriously? You really needed to upload a picture of that? Chances are you asked him to do so, and yeah that is sweet that he is taking on the role of your provider, but let's be real. That's a little unnecessary.
I recently saw a quote that put this into perspective for me. "A love on display is sure to fade." If you are constantly posting pictures, statuses everyday about how great your love life is etc, I am automatically convinced that it's actually not that great, and you're probably only in it for the satisfaction that comes from knowing someone is envious of you. Why do girls do this? Most of the time, anything anyone ever posts on facebook is to make everyone jealous, or to gain sympathy, or compliments. Whatever. We're human. Normal. But if you see your relationship as an opportunity to "compete" with other couples or to make other girls jealous, I think that's wrong. And you probably are too selfish to be in a relationship in the first place. Now don't get all upset, because I post things on occasion, and enjoy other posts like this sometimes too. I am a hopeless romantic and it really is wonderful to see how happy my friends are. I enjoy knowing that they're being blessed by the company and actions of another person. But there is a point where it becomes too much.
The main point I'm trying to make is that I rarely ever see anyone post about their loved ones without including what that person did for them to drive them to the point of making it a public service announcement.
And that is really sad to me. I think that our society has really put emphasis on all of the things we need to do for our significant others to gain their acceptance and love into overkill. I see more and more jewelry commercials, emails from stores saying "the perfect gift for your loved one!" and so on. And I also think this is why so many people think that they are in "love." We often mistake appreciation for what people do for us as actual love for that person. And I'm not talking about just romantic partners. This goes for friends as well. Instead of getting to know who they really are and appreciating and loving that aspect of them, which is the most important one, we find ourselves growing more and more fond of them because of their actions.  And I think this is why so many relationships and even marriages fail. Taking us to dinner, the infamous "good morning :)" text, jewelry, candy, obnoxious teddy bears, flowers, all that useless crap and really only says "Hey girl, you're at least important enough for me to spend twenty bucks. You're welcome." But girls really fall for this. How pathetic. Because those same guys that are constantly giving presents and all that are usually the ones that have no idea to treat a woman in an emotional sense, so they cover it up with gifts. And the funniest thing to me is that these girls are completely aware of this. I see it all the time. I have so many friends who are with guys that are blatantly rude to them, disrespect them, and obviously do not care about them. They constantly complain about it. The girls are so unhappy with that person, but then they go on a date and all of a sudden that person hung the moon, because he has the ability to pull a debit card out of his wallet and cover the tab. Vomit. Get real. As long as you stay in a relationship that is solely rewarding you with materialistic things, you will never be happy. With my relationship, I find myself thinking how lucky I am at random times, when he has done nothing for me. Because I love who he is. Yes I like going on dates and all that, because I'm a girl, but if I didn't get that I would still be happy. I would still consider myself lucky. I would still appreciate him solely for being there and putting up with me. I can say this because I live it everyday. A long distance relationship isn't easy and it's the least rewarding in a materialistic sense. But I think that I am lucky to be in this situation, it is a constant reminder that what I feel is genuine, and not run by an appreciation for anything but him and who he is. If you can't say the same, you're wasting your time.
Another thing I find ridiculous about relationships is the amount of preparation that often goes into being around other people. If you can't turn them loose in a room full of your loved ones without giving them a run down of how to act/what to say, I hate to break it to you, but all that says to me is that deep down there's something about them that you find to be inappropriate or embarrassing. Why be with someone like that? The point of dating is not to fill a gap where another person belongs, but to find what you do and don't like in relationships, and potentially someone who you will one day marry. If that person can't be around your family when they're being themselves, why would you ever consider making them a part of your family? Blows my mind.
My last main point comes from a spiritual perspective. There's a saying that is really popular right now. "It shouldn't be about who you want to spend Friday night with, but who you want to wake up to on Saturday morning." Don't even get me started. That's terrible. I see where it's coming from, but it's terrible.  I think it should be about who is sitting next to you in the pew on Sunday. "We love because He first loved us." Put God in the middle. Because you WILL NOT last if you don't. I promise. I'm not saying "I think" you won't, I'm promising you won't. It isn't genuine love without the Big Man. And that's all I have to say about that.
Be with someone who appreciates you. And I mean truly appreciates you. Be with someone who supports you, even when it is of no benefit to them. Be with someone who builds you up with not just gifts and kind words but their presence alone.
So, not to put a damper your Valentine's Day, but at least take these things into consideration. Just because the loser you're with gave you a stuffed animal, that does not mean he actually cares about you. If he doesn't make you feel special without spending money, your relationship is the equivalent of walmart. Full of crap you don't need. And nobody likes walmart.