I think one problem with how we live our lives today is that so many people stop thinking for themselves and rely strictly on what society does about their problems. When in reality, every personal situation is different. There are several people I know who live their lives strictly based off of what cosmopolitan tells them to do, and on any given day, you can see the exact same "life quote" posted on facebook by at least three girls ages 12-22. We were given the ability to make decisions and analyze and think for ourselves... so why not do it? Here are two of these quotes/ideas that are generally accepted by society, and why I have a problem with them. Just because lately I see them more and more, and it's getting a little monotonous.
- "If he doesn't chase you when you walk away, keep walking."
Okay, problem number one with this is that I know for a fact that many girls fake leaving a relationship just to see if the person they are with will chase after them. If you have ever done this, you're too selfish to deserve someone who will fight to get you back in the first place. It's not fair to the other person and you're playing with their emotions. So go ahead and break up. You've got some maturing to do. Second, I don't think that this is true in every situation. Yes, if someone really loves you, more than likely they will chase after you and fight for you. But maybe that guy should let you walk away, because maybe he wants to give you a chance to see what you really what you want in life. I think that some people do need time to themselves in order to truly be happy. This goes along with the quote "If you love something, let it go... If it comes back its yours, if it doesn't, it never was." Two very popular quotes that cancel each other out. Is this making sense? If not, go watch the Notebook. The third problem that I have with this is that sometimes, when someone really loves you, they'll be honest enough to tell you when you are being ridiculous. If you ever faked running away when you were little, that's what I'm talking about. Your parents probably said "Alright, go ahead, we'll see how far you get." I don't think there's anything wrong with your boyfriend telling you that you're being dramatic for running away from your relationship when it gets a little hard. Because chances are, you are being dramatic. And maybe if you're bold enough to walk away, or at least pretend that you're walking away from the relationship, it isn't what you really want. Maybe you're the one who isn't fighting for it. Just something to think about.
- The idea that if you try hard enough, you'll change someone.
Just no. I think that the most common time this idea is used is with girls who chase after the "bad boy" type. Girls are basically obsessed with thinking that they can make a guy change for them. And I think it's rarely because they genuinely want to be with that person. I think a lot of it comes from pride, and wanting to know that they are good enough to have a guy commit to them. I'm sorry, and I hate to break it to ya, but most guys will only change for themselves. If you've been dating a guy for months and he's still cheating, lying, whatever it is that he does that you're trying to change, give up. He's not changing any time soon, because he doesn't care enough about you to do so. It's really not worth all of your wasted time and energy and you're only getting hurt by it. If a guy really cares enough about a girl, he will realize that his actions aren't fair to her, and he'll change. But it has nothing to do with what you actually do to try to forgive and change him. He'll do it by himself. And besides, you deserve a guy who will give you everything you deserve in the first place. I have no idea how to stress this enough. Most guys are happy with their anti-commitment lifestyle, but they also use it as a vice to keep girls wanting them without having to commit. If a guy says he cares about you but just doesn't want a relationship, stop hanging on because he really, really doesn't want a relationship, even though you desperately try to prove that you'd be a good girlfriend. Also, take a hint and realize that this isn't just about him liking his single lifestyle, it's about the fact that he just doesn't care about you. Because I guarantee you're going to be hurt when a month later, a girl he does care about comes around and he's ready to commit. So if your relationship consists of nothing but you constantly forgiving him for his "old habits," then leave. If a guy says he cares but isn't ready to commit, quit fooling yourself. I think that's a pretty basic thing to grasp but girls are still obsessing over guys that treat them horribly, hanging on for a change that will never happen. If a guy really wants you, he'll do what it takes to make you happy and treat you right. I know this because I've seen it happen. But this change comes from them. Not you.
Stop making a fool of yourself and snap back to reality. Think logically. Be smart. It will save you a lot of grief. End rant.
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