The Modern Christian

--If you know me, you know that I love Jesus. I love talkin to Him, talkin about Him, and I love listenin to Him. But, if you know me, you also know that I love just about every other aspect of a nineteen year old's life. I don't see much harm in going to the bar with my friends on the weekend. I like a good dirt road country song and prancing around on the beach in my bathing suit with the ruffles- who doesn't love a few ruffles? But what I really can't stand is the line that seems to be drawn between this image of church life, and "real" life. Why do we go to church to act like someone we aren't, when God takes us for who we are? I don't like how families I knew so well growing up acted when I saw them at church, all cross legged in the pew smiling like it was their birthday, but at home they were in their PJs, yelling and bickering over who liked their bacon crispy, and who liked it floppy. Yes, floppy. Why is there this awkward feeling about seeing church members you don't know well in public? I recently saw someone I grew up going to church with while out one weekend. (Now I wasn't best friends with them or anything growing up, but normally if I would have seen them in public there would have been a good five minute conversation or so.) I was not drinking, and they didn't appear to be either, yet when I went up to start conversation there was an awkward "Hey, so good to see you! Hope you're doing well!" Followed by another awkward scamper off into the other direction. This confused me to no extent. I know the bar isn't the most holy of all places but is it honestly that frowned upon by society for a Christian to be in a bar? If so, I cannot express how deeply saddened I am by what our society has made the idea of a Christian to be. So here's where I share what I claim to be.
--I am far from perfect. I catch myself daily thinking "Did I really just say that?" (And y'all, I don't really say things that I don't mean.) I go out on the weekends. I talk about people. People talk about me. And frankly, I often give them things to talk about. But that doesn't necessarily mean I'm doing something wrong, and even if I am, I can promise I don't live in regret about it. Wanna know why? Because I'm loved by a God that already forgave me from day one. I've stepped far beyond His plan for my life, but He knew I'd do that. He's not surprised by me. Disappointed daily, yes. But not surprised. What right do I have to dwell in regret when the One who stitched the very fiber of my being says over and over again: "You're forgiven. It's done. Now get on with your life. You have more mistakes to make, and I've got more forgiving to do. Don't hold up the process." It is ridiculous for me to think back on my life and think about everything I've done wrong. I learned recently that it's also ridiculous to keep the people in my life who bring up my past actions in a manner that is intended to put me down. (I'm more than willing to talk about my life, any mistake I've made, and how I've learned from it. I'd be excited to share it with you, actually. That's what the power of His love is about.) Who are those people to hold against me what the Lord has put His blood on? UMM, bye. Nice knowin ya! Sorry I am no longer sorry. They're irrelevant to your life. Your happiness, your future, your sense of self.
--I don't go to church every Sunday, but I make it on occasion. I say prayers about my family, my relationships, my friends, people I don't know, people I barely know, the Toomer's trees, and even Bammers sometimes. Cause I know a few good ones. I sure as hell am not going to stand on a street corner screaming hellfire damnation and telling gay people that God doesn't love them, because He does. He loves them. Shut up about saying He doesn't. Sidenote: As a lover of Christ, it's your job to stand up and say what you're for, not what you're against. That can come later, and it's between that person and the Lord. You are called to share the love of Christ. NOW DO IT. Bottom line. Now I'm not sayin' go out, get drunk, do whatever you feel like doin. I'm not telling you to run around screamin "N0 RegREt$!!!" That's redic. What I'm sayin is that I know that some things I do are wrong, but I'm working on it. I'm not ignoring the fact that I'm sinning, they're habits, and I'm working on it. I think that God can appreciate that. He knows I'm human. He made me that way.  "God loves you just the way you are, but loves you too much to leave you that way." I feel Him tuggin at me, and I'm working on it.
--One very special lady in my life has often come to me in times that I most needed her. It's funny though, because I've rarely gone to her first, telling her my problems, asking what I should do next, seeing what she thinks God is telling me to do. She is time and time again proof to me that God speaks through people. But anyway, one summer I had the blessing of spending lots and lots of time with her. Coincidentally, that summer I also had a lot of second guessing with who I was. I was going through so many changes, and so unsure of what I believed. I flat out will tell you that I doubted God's love for me. I'm sure most everyone has done this at some point, if not often. One day we were at an event together, and during some down time she came over, with that sweet look I knew so well and took me in her arms. "It's the same as it was. I feel like that's what God is telling me to tell you. It's the same as it was." Wow. Boom. There it is. Done. After hearing that, it is impossible for me to doubt His love, because it IS the same as it was. It will always be the same as it was, from the minute He gives us life. It is all consuming, all powerful, unbiased, unwavering, unconditionally powerful and it is fighting for your acceptance.
--The point is that I recognize that God's love for me surpasses anything I'll ever understand. And quite frankly I think it's absolutely mind blowing how some are ashamed of the love of Jesus Christ. I just don't comprehend it! Somebody died for me? Is that forreal? Uh, yes I'm going to make sure everyone knows. How freakin' cool. It is absolutely mind blowing how in all of His perfection, so many are ashamed of Him, yet in all of our sin, He chooses to say "That one is mine." What on earth? Again, are you forreal? What a powerful, unwavering, merciful love we are given. Whatever it is that's holding you back from the love of God- you're making it up. It's not reality. Reality is that God is holding you right now, and it's time to accept that you're better than your actions. They aren't who you are. They're who you've been. Who you are is His. I don't care what kind of beer you drink, what you did this weekend, what you're plannin to do next weekend, what your favorite song is, who your baby daddy is, whatever. You're His. And that's really all there is to it.