What is Love? Baby don't hurt meeee

I mainly titled this post with that line because that song is stuck in my head, but still. It's relevant. Let me just be as cliche as possible and post a blog about love on Valentine's Day.

I'm going to preface this by saying that every relationship is different. And I am not one to judge that. And let me also say that it is so important to appreciate the little things and the big things, and when you're happy about something, it's wonderful to share that. But I am so OVER the constant picture uploads, statuses, etc. about "My boyfriend is literally the best! No like seriously, look at this coke he bought me when we stopped to get gas. How sweet!? So in L0V3." Seriously? You really needed to upload a picture of that? Chances are you asked him to do so, and yeah that is sweet that he is taking on the role of your provider, but let's be real. That's a little unnecessary.
I recently saw a quote that put this into perspective for me. "A love on display is sure to fade." If you are constantly posting pictures, statuses everyday about how great your love life is etc, I am automatically convinced that it's actually not that great, and you're probably only in it for the satisfaction that comes from knowing someone is envious of you. Why do girls do this? Most of the time, anything anyone ever posts on facebook is to make everyone jealous, or to gain sympathy, or compliments. Whatever. We're human. Normal. But if you see your relationship as an opportunity to "compete" with other couples or to make other girls jealous, I think that's wrong. And you probably are too selfish to be in a relationship in the first place. Now don't get all upset, because I post things on occasion, and enjoy other posts like this sometimes too. I am a hopeless romantic and it really is wonderful to see how happy my friends are. I enjoy knowing that they're being blessed by the company and actions of another person. But there is a point where it becomes too much.
The main point I'm trying to make is that I rarely ever see anyone post about their loved ones without including what that person did for them to drive them to the point of making it a public service announcement.
And that is really sad to me. I think that our society has really put emphasis on all of the things we need to do for our significant others to gain their acceptance and love into overkill. I see more and more jewelry commercials, emails from stores saying "the perfect gift for your loved one!" and so on. And I also think this is why so many people think that they are in "love." We often mistake appreciation for what people do for us as actual love for that person. And I'm not talking about just romantic partners. This goes for friends as well. Instead of getting to know who they really are and appreciating and loving that aspect of them, which is the most important one, we find ourselves growing more and more fond of them because of their actions.  And I think this is why so many relationships and even marriages fail. Taking us to dinner, the infamous "good morning :)" text, jewelry, candy, obnoxious teddy bears, flowers, all that useless crap and really only says "Hey girl, you're at least important enough for me to spend twenty bucks. You're welcome." But girls really fall for this. How pathetic. Because those same guys that are constantly giving presents and all that are usually the ones that have no idea to treat a woman in an emotional sense, so they cover it up with gifts. And the funniest thing to me is that these girls are completely aware of this. I see it all the time. I have so many friends who are with guys that are blatantly rude to them, disrespect them, and obviously do not care about them. They constantly complain about it. The girls are so unhappy with that person, but then they go on a date and all of a sudden that person hung the moon, because he has the ability to pull a debit card out of his wallet and cover the tab. Vomit. Get real. As long as you stay in a relationship that is solely rewarding you with materialistic things, you will never be happy. With my relationship, I find myself thinking how lucky I am at random times, when he has done nothing for me. Because I love who he is. Yes I like going on dates and all that, because I'm a girl, but if I didn't get that I would still be happy. I would still consider myself lucky. I would still appreciate him solely for being there and putting up with me. I can say this because I live it everyday. A long distance relationship isn't easy and it's the least rewarding in a materialistic sense. But I think that I am lucky to be in this situation, it is a constant reminder that what I feel is genuine, and not run by an appreciation for anything but him and who he is. If you can't say the same, you're wasting your time.
Another thing I find ridiculous about relationships is the amount of preparation that often goes into being around other people. If you can't turn them loose in a room full of your loved ones without giving them a run down of how to act/what to say, I hate to break it to you, but all that says to me is that deep down there's something about them that you find to be inappropriate or embarrassing. Why be with someone like that? The point of dating is not to fill a gap where another person belongs, but to find what you do and don't like in relationships, and potentially someone who you will one day marry. If that person can't be around your family when they're being themselves, why would you ever consider making them a part of your family? Blows my mind.
My last main point comes from a spiritual perspective. There's a saying that is really popular right now. "It shouldn't be about who you want to spend Friday night with, but who you want to wake up to on Saturday morning." Don't even get me started. That's terrible. I see where it's coming from, but it's terrible.  I think it should be about who is sitting next to you in the pew on Sunday. "We love because He first loved us." Put God in the middle. Because you WILL NOT last if you don't. I promise. I'm not saying "I think" you won't, I'm promising you won't. It isn't genuine love without the Big Man. And that's all I have to say about that.
Be with someone who appreciates you. And I mean truly appreciates you. Be with someone who supports you, even when it is of no benefit to them. Be with someone who builds you up with not just gifts and kind words but their presence alone.
So, not to put a damper your Valentine's Day, but at least take these things into consideration. Just because the loser you're with gave you a stuffed animal, that does not mean he actually cares about you. If he doesn't make you feel special without spending money, your relationship is the equivalent of walmart. Full of crap you don't need. And nobody likes walmart.